• Blog
  • My NF2 Journey
    • My NF2 Journey
    • What Is NF2?
  • Free The Slaves
  • 13 Resolutions For Life

TRACED WITH PURPOSE

you are not a mistake – you are created uniquely for a unique purpose by God

Life

STOP CORRECTING PEOPLE!

Posted on February 6, 2013 Leave a Comment

By Tim Marks

Henry Ford wisely said, “Don’t find fault.  Find a remedy.”  Why do people feel the need to point out other people’s mistakes?  Well, it could be they genuinely want the other person to improve.  It could be that they want to help.  Or it could be that they are trying to knock the other person down a few pegs to themselves feel powerful in comparison.  WikiHow.com shares, “Criticism is futile, because it puts a person on the defensive and causes him to justify himself.  Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s pride and arouses resentment.  Criticism is vain, because in judging others, we regard ourselves as more righteous than they.”

For some people, their self-esteem and identity is tied to “being right” and “being knowledgeable”.  They feel that they are a worthwhile person if they are correct, and more importantly, if other people know it.  If you derive your self-esteem from being right… why? Why is that your source of self-esteem?  Do you feel embarrassed being wrong or making a mistake?  Does that seem rational to you?  Surely you must realize that you can’t be right all of the time.  You only need to be right 51% of the time and you would make a billion dollars on the stock market this year!  If someone was right all the time, they’d have easily developed the cure for cancer, brought peace to the Middle East, and found a solution to world hunger.  Since these haven’t been accomplished, you may want to lower your estimation of yourself being “all knowing” a notch, Scooter.  Again, only one man ever was, and no one ever will be again.  Compulsively correcting people is purely an ego game, and as SpiritualPub.com shares, “One day, you will come to an understanding that in a pretentious game of gratifying your ego, you have auctioned the inner beauty of your soul.”

I have a family member whom I love very much who is, and has always been, right about everything (in their eyes).  It’s a sad condition because it holds him back from learning.  Why would someone bother learning when they think they already know everything?  It might be true we have some expertise in a certain area, but imagine the vast ocean of knowledge we don’t have!  Also, is it possible that our suggestion is correct, but someone else’s idea might also have merit?  There might be two different solutions to the same problem.  2+2 equals 4, but so does 1+3.  And even if we are correct, remember that no one wants to hear about it if we come across as an arrogant know-it-all!  (No one… except you!)

The world is filled with people who will tell you what you do wrong.  Your friends, family and colleagues are constantly told by everyone around them what they do wrong!  Even if your heart is genuinely in a good place and you want to help the other person by correcting them, may I suggest you reconsider?  As Dale Carnegie wrote, “When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves.  And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness.  But not if someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our esophagus.”

My mentor, bestselling author Orrin Woodward, has taught me if someone is about to make a tiny mistake, to consider letting them know gently.  Please don’t come across as a know-it-all.  You may want to say, “I could be wrong, but have you considered this?  Perhaps there is another way of looking at this problem.”  Or, “This is only my opinion, and I certainly am not an expert, but what about this option?”  Using language like that leaves a back door for their ego to remain intact.  Throw a little uncertainty into your language in order to gently introduce a suggestion.  You may also try getting their permission to offer a suggestion.  Perhaps something like, “Bob, if I noticed something I felt could really help you, do I have your permission to offer a little tip?”  By getting their permission first, they are probably more open to hearing what you have to say.  I learned from my mentor it matters less to the other person whether you are right; it matters if their ego and feelings are intact.

Finally, stop yourself and ask, “Who am I to criticize this other man?”  Consider all the mistakes you have made throughout your life.  It can be pretty easy to feel self-righteous when considering our strengths to another, but what about our flaws compared to their flaws?  In John 8:9 Jesus said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”  I know all of my flaws. Who am I to judge another man?  At this point, you may be wondering, “He, wait a minute… is Tim judging me or trying to tear me down?” or “Is Tim trying to teach me people skills?”  Actually, I’m trying to show you we all make these common mistakes and we all have value that we and others may not yet see.

Now, naysayers will point out avoiding correcting people doesn’t count for landing airplanes, brain surgery or running a nuclear power plant.  Of course there are times when you point out a mistake!  If your spouse is driving the car and about to run a red light or crash into someone, don’t AVOID pointing it out in order to dogmatically follow this principle.  Use discretion.  However, the three extreme examples I just gave are situations where a person is in mortal danger.  99.9% of the time we AREN’T in mortal danger, so the exception won’t apply most of the time!  You still need to avoid criticism most of the time!

Fortunately, the LIFE business shares information to help even a blunt choleric like myself to soften his edges, develop some empathy, and share mentorship and advice from a place of serving rather than correcting.  To quote from one of our recent books in the LIFEsubscription series, Bringing Out the Best in People, author Alan Loy McGinnis said, “Good managers and good teachers, on the other hand, do not waste much time doing postmortems on the failures of their people.  Instead they look for strengths that others have overlooked and ways to encourage the gifts in their group.”  If you want to become a better leader, I’d encourage you to bite your tongue when you feel you are about to criticize, and instead, point out what someone has done correctly.

Posted in: Blog, Leadership Nuggets | Tagged: correcting, excellence, For, intentionally, Life, living, marks, people, Purpose, stop, tim, traced, with

RESOLVED! 13 Resolutions for Life

Posted on December 11, 2012 Leave a Comment

 

These are original with Benjamin Franklin who wrote these and ingrained them in his life at age 14. Amazing how the Gospel had such a huge impact on our country’s leadership.

These are some powerful resolutions! What great leaders we had-will we step up to the plate and stop complaining about our country’s leader and take the resolutions to heart and focus on improving in our own life? The right president won’t make much difference at all-if we want real change-I need to start with MYSELF and apply these resolutions. Will you join me? We will change ourselves, which in turn will change our families, which in turn will change our community, which in turn will change our country and just maybe-we”ll change the world!

1. Resolved: I resolve to discover my God-given purpose. I know that when my potential, passions, and profits intersect, my purpose is revealed.
2. Resolved: I resolve to choose character over reputation anytime they conflict. I know that my character is who I am and my reputation is only what others say that I am.
3. Resolved: I resolve to have an attitude of gratitude. I know that by listening to my Positive Voice and turning down my Negative Voice that I will own a positive attitude.
4. Resolved: I resolve to align my conscious (ant) with my subconscious (elephant) mind towards my vision. I know that ending the civil war between them is crucial for all achievement.
5. Resolved: I resolve to develop and implement a game plan in each area of my life. I know that planning and doing are essential parts of the success process.
6. Resolved: I resolve to keep score in the game of life. I know that the scoreboard forces me to check and confront the results, making the needed adjustments in order to win.
7. Resolved: I resolve to develop the art and science of friendship. I know that everyone needs a true friend to lighten the load when life gets heavy.
8. Resolved: I resolve to develop financial intelligence. I know that my wealth is compounded when incomes are higher than expenses over time.
9. Resolved: I resolve to develop the art and science of leadership. I know that everything rises and falls based upon the leadership culture created within my community.
10. Resolved: I resolve to develop the art and science of conflict resolution. I know that relationship bombs and unresolved conflict destroy a community’s unity and growth.
11. Resolved: I resolve to develop systems thinking. I know that by viewing life as interconnected patterns rather than isolated events I improve my leverage.
12. Resolved: I resolve to develop Adversity Quotient. I know that AQ leads to perseverance in overcoming obstacles and setbacks.
13. Resolved: I resolve to leave a legacy by fulfilling my purpose and vision through living the 13 Resolutions. I know that by reversing the current of decline, I provide an example for the next-generation of leaders.

Posted in: Blog, Leadership Nuggets | Tagged: 13, Benjamin, For, Franklin, Life, Orin, resolutions, Woodward

Really? You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Posted on December 11, 2012 1 Comment

Psalm 139:14 reads; “I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well. 

Really? Am I fearfully & Wonderfully made?

It all started with lots of dreams. My goal was to become a missionary pilot. I loved reading books about other missionary pilots since I was young and when those planes flew overhead, boy was I anywhere but on the ground. After I turned 16 I managed to talk my dad into letting me pursue my pilots license. It seemed like everything was planning out perfectly. I got my Private License at 17 and started getting serious about deciding to become a missionary pilot or not. Meanwhile I was losing my hearing. At this point I was completely deaf in one ear but had normal hearing in my remaining ear so it did not affect me much and I didn’t really think much about it. I started researching what exactly it takes to become a missionary pilot and discovered most ministries require you to have a degree as an Airplane Mechanic. So I started researching different schools and what all would be involved. Meanwhile I randomly decided I really need to get my ear checked out and figure out why I went totally deaf in one ear.

I forget the exact date but it was January of 2008 and I had an appointment with an ENT (Dr. Benke) For those of you who know him in Cleburne, TX. He checked my ear out and saw no problem with anything so the next thing was an MRI. I was already not fond of Doctors so of course I was telling my mom, “see, just like always, they always refer you to do something else and it’s a money scam! You know I don’t have anything in my head that MRI will find. I’m healthy!”

Approximately 2 weeks past when my parents broke the news to me. Little did I know how NueroFibromatosis Type 2 would affect my life. I started researching it and it just got to much so I quit. There currently is no known cure for NF2 and the medical route offers little hope. Early onset of death is not an uncommon thing with NF2 patients. You can read more under NF2 Journey for specific information about NF2.

I didn’t lose any hope for my dream of becoming a missionary pilot yet. We pursued natural treatment that MIGHT work and I had to go to a clinic for a month straight. For a young guy in good health to be in a clinic for a month over his 18th birthday is not advised, just saying. During the month I was there I had an infection set in that we would not discover for many months. The treatment on top of the infection really got me down. Follow up visits to the clinic were just part of it-I spent several months in the clinic overall most of the time having this infection that we could not find at the time. Finally I was in too much pain all the time that all I could do was lay flat on my back and tough it. I could not get up and walk on my own for at least two months. Now things started getting real, I started struggling with what I thought was my purpose. I was getting weaker, I had lost almost any strength I had. We were doing blood test and nothing bad was showing-finally we tried seeing back specialist because back pain is what I was struggling with. That wasn’t easy, I had to be carried out to a van and that hurt bad. We drove over an hour only to have the doctor come out to see me and say he will not touch me I have to see an Emergency Doctor. Well we knew we wouldn’t get far there because we were already seeing Doctors who could not find any issues. Finally an MRI report revealed a disc being gone-so I had discitis. After being admitted to the hospital It sounded hopeful that with some help on pain meds I could get back on top and get this infection finished off. Oh but those doctors you know–they got ahold of my NF2 case and ran with it. They claimed there was a life threatening tumor close to the brain stem and had to be dealt with immediately. We knew the situation and knew it wasn’t as bad as they made it sound but knew it was bad enough we should probably just get it taken care of. I’m sure God had his timing it it all. But, this was the first huge mountain for me to cross. The risk on surgery was life or death-if anything went wrong, I would not come out alive.

Needless to say the surgery was very successful. In the 6 month path to recovery it was tough and of course I had tons of time to reflect. Let’s just say I started struggling with bitterness towards God-why did He chose to crash a dream I had that seemed like it was His dream for me. there were a thousand WHY’s I wanted answered. I could not understand how this scripture applied to me.

Psalm 139:14 reads; “I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well. 

I spent quite a bit of time on youtube listening to Christian music and esp Chris Tomlin which led me to Loui Giglio’s video about Laminin. This changed my life.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-NPPIeeRk?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

My questions to God were all wrong. I realized God has a very specific mission for me here on earth and if I just hang in there and follow Him I will fulfill that plan. I chose to believe that God was intimately involved with what I was going through and that He was actually intimately involved in my body with the pain I was going through.

As time went on I began to have hind site and see how God was using this in my life, He used it to wake me up from my own dreams and had to knock me down so I really start searching Him deeply to figure out why I was created. But I kept struggling with a few things about HOW I was created. For those of you who don’t know me I am partially cross-eyed and I just could not imagine how God could possibly have allowed that to happen for a REASON. but God wasn’t done with me yet, I was introduced to Nick Vujicic and little did I know it would be another life changing event for me. Nick was living proof to me that God created ME uniquely for HIS UNIQUE purpose but not only that! He created me with my disabilities ON PURPOSE so I could fulfill His purpose. He has a plan for everything. Since my surgery several years ago there have been many other instances where God seemed to crash my dream, including 2 weeks I had lost all my hearing thinking it was permanent.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW579icDRSA?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

I’ve talked a lot about my pain in my journey but my goal is not to take you on a pity party journey with me-I tell you those details because God used that pain, and that “crashing MY dreams” to get my attention and wake me up so that I could realize that I am Wonderfully & Fearfully made ON PURPOSE for HIS UNIQUE purpose that only I can achieve because of HOW HE created me.

I still do not know 100% what His purpose for my life is-but I’m on a journey that is so amazing that I would never be able to be on had it not been for that pain, had it not been for those dreams that were crashed, had it not been for that, I would be in a completely different journey not half as worth it.

My passion in all this is to somehow Inspire others to accept the way they were created, stop asking God WHY, and starting embracing Who God created them to be and the abilities He gave them. “Disabilities” become “Abilities”. Just look at Laminin-You think God isn’t intimately involved in HOW you are created and the day-to-day pains you go through?

Really? You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made!

Editors note:

I hope this was an inspiration to you. This article is meant to be part of my story I am working on developing. I am a beginner in writing and communication so if it is rather jumbled I apologize. I use to struggle with not wanting to talk about my journey at all fearing I’d come across all about me-finally I realized God wanted me to move forward and use my story to inspire others and not let my fears hinder His purpose in all this. It’s kind of difficult as a beginner to know how much detail to share so I can really take you along with me on the journey to experience what I experienced without getting to involved in details and losing the motivation of it all which is to inspire others to embrace the purpose God traced into their life. I welcome feedback on articles I write about God’s story of my life with all this in mind.

Posted in: Blog | Tagged: abilities, Embrace, God, inspire, Journey, Life, NF2, Purpose, Story, Surgery, traced, unique, with

The Skills Gap (and Work is Noble)

Posted on November 21, 2012 Leave a Comment

by Chris Brady

My friend and author Tim Marks was recently invited by another of my friends (and often co-author) Orrin Woodward to give a talk describing the Biblical foundation for work. Tim illuminated how our society has, to some extent, lost its respect for hard work, and instead admires leisure and even decadence. Certain occupations, and even those who do them, are looked down upon. This is contrary to the teachings of the Bible which reveals that while laboriousness was added to man’s existence as a curse at the fall, work itself has always been and always was intended to be noble.

For wonderful examples of this I need look no further than my own family. My father and both grandfathers worked honestly at difficult jobs for a lifetime, doing themselves honor as they quietly served their families through challenging times (for my grandfathers, this meant the Depression, a world war, and a couple of “police actions” called Korea and Viet Nam. For my father this meant the OPEC oil embargo, the Watergate years, the Carter administration, disco music, and the dominance of the 1970’s Pittsburgh Steelers – tough times all)! (Also, don’t even get me started on the work of my grandmothers and mother – this page is not long enough to do the subject justice for either gender). The truth is that while some jobs are certainly more universally desirable than others, all honest work is noble and plays its part in a prosperous society. Those who denigrate hard work simply don’t understand the foundations upon which they stand that allow them to hold their ignorant views in the first place. I, for one, will be forever in the debt of people like my parents and grandparents who worked hard their whole lives so I could have the life I now enjoy.

It is interesting to me how things happen. Just one day after Tim Marks shared his thought-provoking information, I received a link to the following video. In it, I think Mike Rowe does a respectable job of teaching us to respect jobs, he works hard at telling us to admire hard work, and he is quite skillful in making an appeal for people to become more skillful (if only it were possible with my writing)!

Enjoy the video.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo-cUZ2aRKc?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

Sincerely,

Chris Brady

Posted in: Leadership Nuggets | Tagged: Chris Brady, Hard, Life, Mike Row, Orin Woodward, Tim Marks, Work, Work Ethic

Define – Learn – Do

Posted on November 16, 2012 Leave a Comment

Define – Learn – Do is such a powerful plan, but most people do it backwards. Think about it, as a kid didn’t you clearly define how you wanted your life to look like with all your big dreams? What happened? We grow up, we go to school, go thru college but what do we pursue? Maybe your mom always told you you would make an excellent engineer so you pursue that. You learn how to do it get a good education, and get promoted. All seems great till finally your at the top and you realize you’re set with this for the next 45 years and this will define what your life looks like. You start to cross out dreams you once had, maybe it’s give to church and charity, maybe it’s spend most of your time in 3rd world countries serving the poor, maybe it’s just to have time with your kids and wife and impact future generations. But little by little what you are doing defines your lifestyle and you have to cross some of those things off the list.

What’s God’s plan? Do you think God created you then he learned how to relate to you and how to keep you alive and figure out what you can do here on earth and that defined HIM? Oh no, God dreamed about you from the beginning of creation, he defined your life and your purpose long before you were even born. So if God defines what He wants before doing don’t you think it would be a good idea to do the same in our life? You see, God’s way is for you to Define what His purpose and plan for your life are, you learn how to achieve that with God’s help and then you go do it. There are so many people sitting around making excuses for where they are at in life and so many people even quote scripture references about poor people to defend themselves! Now there is nothing wrong with poor people, but you see this isn’t about being poor or rich, this is about discovering God’s purpose for your life and giving that your BEST effort. So many people go do, learn, then that defines what their life will be like and then sit back and say “well God just chose this path for me” and “I’m living to my full potential” when they don’t realize actually they have WAY more potential but went about it all wrong now instead of confronting reality and changing, it’s excuses.

Lets do it God’s way!

DEFINE: what God’s purpose for your life is
LEARN: how you can accomplish that purpose by following God
DO: move to action and DO what God has traced your life out to accomplish

Posted in: Blog | Tagged: Bible, Define, Do, Excuses, God, Jesus, Learn, Life, Life Plan, Purpose
1 2 Next »

Follow

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On Pinterest
"For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him." Colossians 1:16

God Is Sovereign

Recent Pins.

Follow Me on Pinterest
Followed by people.
?

Pinterest Badge by Skipser

Links

  • The Village Church
  • Free The Slaves

Recent Posts

  • O Ye of Little Faith October 30, 2015
  • Brokenness and the Gospel January 21, 2015
  • Suffering is for your good and for His glory! October 11, 2014
  • If You’re Gifted Don’t Touch It! July 15, 2014
  • God’s Sovereignty & Healing June 30, 2014

Copyright © 2023 TRACED WITH PURPOSE.

Theme by ThemeHall.